I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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