yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
