she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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