so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
