Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm jealous of your bromance
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
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Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.