Sponge bath it is.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
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Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
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Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds