Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.