it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well