You can't special order awesome
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
