Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
