why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
