I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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