I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
