no, he came in my armpit
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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