i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
