Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
