he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
