girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
