I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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