I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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