we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
