Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
