i'm signing you up for texting rehab
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
