I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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