apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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