I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Acid is not a monday night drug
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
