thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
