These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
