once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
we should paint friendship bongs
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