do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize