I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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