Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
