the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
