he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
