Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
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I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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