Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize