Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
