I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
