She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
