How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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