thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
