i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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