Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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