I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
