What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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