just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize