Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
