and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize