stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
