i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
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Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
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I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.