I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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