I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
