just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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