woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize