I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
