dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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