I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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