My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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