Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
