chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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